In the process of preventing my wedding dress from shrinking, I have noticed other items in my closet are fitting differently than they previously did.
I am becoming increasingly suspicious of this clothing conspiracy. It has to be a Plot, there is no other logical explanation. The jeans that once clung to my every curve now hang loosely, unless they’re fresh out of the dryer, and even then, that doesn’t last long. The skirt that once fit perfectly now shifts when I walk and refuses to hang properly, while other skirts fit better than they previously did.
I checked the labels, all the items claim to be the same size… the jeans, skirts and wedding dress’ labels all have the same little number written on the tag. My clothes have had this number in them since I was in high school and while my weight has modified itself drastically since then, the clothes continued to have the same number.
Curiouser and curiouser… I find a measuring tape. I periodically measure myself before I order clothes online from LandsEnd to make sure I still fit with in their artificial boundaries set for the little number printed on my jeans. The numbers have been fairly consistent for the last few years. Up a little in some spots, down a little in others.
How does this relate to the Incredible Shrinking Dress that is hanging in Elle’s side of the closet? My measurements were taken when I bought it and I have a rough idea of my approximate weight when I got it. All those numbers have changed. The dress was admittedly a little snug when it came home, but the larger size was HUGELY too big.
Following Dad’s suggestion I have been trying on the dress about once every two weeks or so. He told me the story of a girl he knew from New Orleans, she bought the dress of her dreams, only to find out on the day of her wedding it no longer zipped up the back.
Ironically, as I work on shrinking my incredible ME the dress seems to be shrinking proportionally, we have been losing our pounds and inches together. What the dress doesn’t know is that it is an inanimate object and I am Kindli and I will triumph over it.
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