The long awaited “Priority Mail” envelope finally arrived, rather mangled, but in one piece, six days after it shipped. I have gotten postcards from Hawaii in shorter periods of time and they only cost twenty-three cents.
The mail also took longer to be delivered. As I waited on the front steps it became immediately apparent why: Howard, our usual mailman, was not the one delivering mail. In his place, was some young man with a rather hideous safari-style hat who spent the entire time talking loudly on his cell phone as he jammed the mail into the boxes.
I prefer Howard, he is a very nice slightly older man, and he almost always manages to have the mail neatly tucked into our box by three in the afternoon (at the latest). The young upstart didn’t get the mail here until 3:45.
I have come to the conclusion “priority mail” is a colossal joke being played upon us by the U.S. Postal system. Items shipped in this manner seem to take longer and arrive in worse condition than the rest of the mail. In six days I could have driven to Boston, cruised around the Bahamas, or taken a transatlantic journey on a dinghy.
One would think “priority mail” would have priority and arrive in an unmangeled condition. I recently received a “Three-day residential” package shipped via UPS, it arrived a day before it was predicted to (I knew it was going to be early, I tracked it online). Then, I got a letter from my Uncle in Hurricane Ravished New Orleans, in three days… but priority from Boston took seven. Rather overrated.
Fortunately UPS is not the USPS. UPS is trying to make a profit and stay ahead of its competitors like FedEx and DHL. For one of my classes at Prin I did a presentation on how UPS was adopting wireless technology to help track packages in a quicker and more efficient manner.
The theme of the project was “Teaching an elephant to dance” –based on a quote by the CEO talking about how UPS was like an elephant and running the company was like teaching it to dance. The powerpoint got me an “A” (my animated elephants “dancing” won over the class). I found all sorts of diagrams and charts and pictures of the new technology UPS was using. Occasionally, and with much fanfare, USPS puts out a new, more expensive stamp.
Heartwarming. The new stamp doesn’t get me mail any quicker.
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