Archive for April, 2006

The importance of Breakfast

Published by kindli on April 18, 2006 in fun. 0 Comments

The other morning (I think it was Saturday) Gavin and I were talking on the phone. After a few minutes of conversation, we mutually decided it was time to hang up and get breakfast.

It was nice to know someone else respected the great tradition of Breakfast. When I visited Breakfast was Quite Important even if it was Crispix. Waffles also graced the table several mornings.

One of the many signs that Gavin was right happened about year ago, at breakfast. I was carefully buttering my crumbling croissant in the common breakfast room in our Erfurt Hotel, my orange juice and a second hard roll sat next to my plate.

The door to the room burst open and my roommate entered, in a singsong voice she said: “Kindli-poo, Gavin-poo is on the phone for you.”

The singsong “Kindli-poo” grated. I looked up from my buttered croissant. “Please tell him I’m having breakfast, I’ll call him back later.”

You would’ve thought I’d told her to jump off the roof of the hotel. “He’s calling from Boston.”

“I’m having breakfast, he’ll understand. Please tell him I’ll call him back later.”

She retreated looking rather shocked.

When I talked to my roommate, she said in amazement: “He said, that’s OK I’ll talk to her later then. He wasn’t upset at all.”

Later, I talked to Gavin about it. We laughed at my poor roommate’s terror. With in a week the Legend of the Importance of Kindli’s Breakfast circulated through out the Abroad Group.

I don’t think my roommate in Erfurt ever quite recovered from the shock. “He called from Boston,” she would mumble. “And he didn’t mind you were having breakfast… ’

Am I nervous?

Published by kindli on April 16, 2006 in wedding prep. 0 Comments

“So are you nervous about getting married,” my friends, and the church ladies ask. “About the wedding or the marriage?”

They look confused.

I’m not worried about the marriage, I have the rest of my life to sort out any differences, disagreements and disputes I may have with Gavin. The rest of my life is going to be quite a while so there will be plenty of time to learn and grow.

The wedding is another issue. I’m only having one, once. I’ve got one set day and one chance to have it run smoothly. I’m not too worried about it running smoothly, my future mother-in-law, Dulce, and I have been trading a detailed 4 page itinerary back and forth.

It is quite the impressive itinerary, it rivals the one I got when I traveled with a group through Europe for 10 weeks. That one was also 4 pages (difference being it was front and back) and had a daily rather rough sketch of what would probably happen.

Dulce’s Itinerary has the dates, times, locations, transportation, and little details, lots of little details. I stand in awe. This power, put to other uses, could be used to run a small country. I feel less nervous about the wedding after looking over the itinerary, although I am still worried about a few of the human’s involved.

Will everyone be able to keep quiet about their political views? Will they manage to abstain from impolite comments? Can they sit quietly and not upset themselves or each other? Are they capable of polite conversation? Should I supply lists of appropriate conversation topics: how beautiful the Bride looks, how handsome (and roguishly sexy) the Groom looks, how lovely the flowers are, how nice it is to meet the person next to them…

Then there are the other uncontrollable elements: Will the weather be beautiful? Will the flower’s hold up? What if the car breaks down? What happens if we misplace the Minister? What if in the next 27 days my dress shrinks?

Ironically, I am less concerned about the uncontrollable elements that don’t involve people. I know the weather will be beautiful, the flowers will be lovely, the cars will work, the Minister will be there, and I have a back up plan in case the dress magically shrinks.

I shared my fears with Gavin. He reminded me “After the wedding, we’re leaving for our honeymoon and other people will be worrying about those problem.” Yes, that is true, but I would still like to have our wedding be memorable for being harmonious and wonderful… not for… I’ll let you inset your own ideas here… I don’t want to think about it!

30 Days

Published by kindli on April 13, 2006 in wedding prep. 0 Comments

In 30 days we’re getting married.
My list of things to do is growing.
It is all going to get done…
AND it is all going to get done right.

The BIG stuff is done:
my dress is in LW’s closet
the flowers are in boxes in the loft
I have shoes

Flight plans have been made
We have a plan for the honeymoon
We have reservations made for dinner
Now it is the little things,
the PAPERWORK and details…

30 days is plenty of time

Soon to be: The New Wife

Published by kindli on April 7, 2006 in books and reading. 0 Comments

I am going to be someone’s Wife in a little over a month. I do not say this with dread, or excitement, I say it as a statement of fact. I’ve never been a Wife before, I’ve been a Daughter, a Sister, a Niece, a Girlfriend, a Best Friend, a Friend, and any other number of things, but never before a Wife.

In searching around on the internet for wedding etiquette, I came across Indiebride.com, a site for more nontraditionally minded women, the sort who have small location weddings in Vegas. In their book review section, I came across The New Wife: The Evolving Role of the American Wife By Susan Shapiro Barash.

I found a copy, and found it to be an interesting chronology of stereotypes throughout the decade with no real set idea of what the “Generation Y” wife should be like. Both Gavin and I are in the shady “Generation Y.” (Whatever that’s supposed to mean… I’m wondering what comes next “Generation Z”… and then what? “Generation Z.1”?)

Generally, I don’t like stereotypes (unless they serve my needs), I don’t find them fair, or reasonable (in most cases), not everyone conforms or should conform to what some book says a Wife should be like. Granted, if the generic, stereotypical wife in 1950s stayed at home and raised children, who am I to argue? I didn’t come along until the early 80s so I didn’t experience it first hand.

I didn’t pick up The New Wife to find the blueprints to a perfect marriage, I read it more to see what didn’t work out so well in marriages so I could learn from a broader cross section of mistakes. I plan on working with Gavin to create a new plan that both of us like, carefully picking and choosing and learning and growing as we go along.

I prefer Sex with Kings

Published by kindli on April 4, 2006 in books and reading. 0 Comments

I recently finished reading Seductress, Women Who Ravished the World and Their Lost Art of Love. Admittedly, it’s not the sort of book I would normally read, but I did very much enjoy Sex with Kings : 500 Years of Adultery, Power, Rivalry, and Revenge, so I figured, why not? Both books deal with women with rather loose morals. Some of the women were in both books, but I very much preferred Sex with Kings to Seductress.

Seductress sort of left me feeling like it could have been something more. I got a little lost with the Goddess comparisons, and the attempts to draw back to the inner archaic archetype of the feminine seductress goddess what not. There was a lot of interesting information, but it was difficult to find as it was frequently buried.

Sex with Kings came across as a chronicle of mistresses and women who influenced royalty across Europe, while Seductress chronicled women who slept with everyone across Europe, (America and the Middle East) and compared them to goddess archetypes. I think a better common thread many of the women shared would be their people skills, unusual upbringing or what they contributed to the society in their time (aside from infatuating men).

Admittedly, I did like that Seductress mocked much of the feminist movement through out history, but I don’t relate to a primeval archetype of the erotic feminine whatever it was discussed in the book. Seductress was so seeped in the Goddess psycho babble that it was difficult to read, follow, or relate to any of the women in the book.

Consequently I will give it 3 out of 5 stars ***, because Ms. Prioleau tried and has impressive research, I just can’t agree with how it was strung together and feel it could have been done differently.

I want my hairstyle to support its own mini ecosystem

Published by kindli on April 3, 2006 in fun and wedding prep. 0 Comments

With the big day fast approaching I realized I needed to start thinking about all those little things… like what to do with my hair. I’ve thought about the other little things, like the place cards, bubble wands, seating charts and kleenex. My hair, and what to do with it, have not been in my top 10 things to worry about.

So armed with the vast knowledge of the internet –and google in particular– I began my search for Perfect Bridal Hair, I’m really not worried about it, I just want to see what is out there. Google Image Search turned out some rather special hair styles for brides-to-be.

The wedding will be outside in Houston in May, so I’m going to go with my hair up somehow. The idea of curls is laughable, the humidity would wipe them out once I exited the house. The idea of having my hair down is equally preposterous, out in the elements, whatever down-style I chose would be blown away, unless I use several cans of hairspray (I’ll pass).

A lot of the styles look like the Prom-hair I encountered five years ago at my senior prom in 2001. The twists and loops and hair gems and sparklies, all intricately done up in a hive firmly secured by a million bobby-pins and a can of hairspray. I don’t want to spend the first night of my marriage picking out hair jewels, bobby pins and soaking my hair to get the goo out.

There were a few styles that looked like bits of bouquets were shoved into their hair, or like they ran through some tropical underbrush. Several other styles had huge ribbons that looked like rather large small hats, covering nearly all of the bride’s head and a good portion of the face. Some of the head pieces look creepy as well, and conjure up images of fiber-optic lights like the ones at the Discovery Channel store.

The more I look, the more I feel inspired to shun the internet’s visions of bridal beauty and stick with something simple that I know I can make work. I don’t know what it is going to be just yet, but it’s not going to be like 99% of the results on Google.

Gavin got a Haircut

Published by kindli on April 1, 2006 in fun. 0 Comments


Gavin got a haircut. This is cause for MUCH celebration. YAY!!! I love Gavin (and his new haircut looks great)!!!