Last night I made our last bag of Ghiradelli brownie mix, so this evening I wanted to try something a little different (and slightly more complicated than opening a bag and adding water, veggie oil and an egg).
Because I could (and because it’s WOW night) I decided to make homemade-white-bread, from a recipe I found on Slashfood (thanks to Nick for the link), with Mad About Mozart blaring in the background, I set to work.
The recipe was straightforward enough, but from the start I encountered difficulties. The yeast didn’t want to foam, the dough didn’t want to rise, and my fingers were covered and webbed in perpetual doughy goo that no amount of flour seemed to be able to help. 
Bowl of dough
I also began to wonder why I bothered to grow out my nails, the dough stuck everywhere, and the flour to keep it from sticking everywhere also left impressive traces of its existence through out the kitchen. 
My gooey hand
What bothered me the most was the bread’s refusal to rise. I think the “warm” water I added to the yeast was a little too warm but it’s a little late to worry about that.
The dough was supposed to double in size and then double in size again. It made a pathetic attempt to rise and didn’t go much of anywhere. I’ve had this happen before –with sweet rolls– but they usually make up for it with gusto once they’re placed in the oven (I very much hope that is the case.) 
They should’ve risen more, but they’re going in the oven anyway
During the time I waited for the dough to rise I read You can get Arrested for That by Rich Smith (I skimmed the last few hundred pages of Gulag and gave up, it was interesting but not captivating reading). So far I have found it highly amusing. Among the illegal things he’s managed: playing cards with a Native American on the street (Globe, AZ), and whale hunting (Utah). Up next he’s going to break a Chicago law about fishing in pajamas.
The dough continued to refuse to rise even once it got into the oven. I checked every 10 minutes or so, it stubbornly refused to budge. More than a little frustrated, I informed Gavin I was baking little bread bricks and if I made enough of them we could build a fort. I got a hug and was thanked for the warning.
Although it refused to rise, the bread smelled delicious as it baked, or maybe it was my hands that smelled good (they remained so encrusted with dough Gavin suggested I put lotion on my hands because they had “dried out” and were “peeling”… he changed his mind when I asked him what the funny growths around my cuticles were).
After awhile the novelty of checking on the brick-loaves’ lack of rising action wore off. I decided to wait the remaining 15 or 20 minutes and see what would happen.
The bread came out of the pans easily enough, and is now sitting cooling on the kitchen table. It looks special, but I was expecting that. I am going to try some in the morning with butter and jam and see how they taste.
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Classic White Bread
(from Baking with Julia)
2 1/2 cups water, warm (105-115F)
2 1/2 tsp (1 package or .25oz) active dry yeast
1 tbsp sugar
6-7 cups all-purpose flour
1 tbsp salt
4 tbsp butter, very soft
Combine 1/2 cup of the water with the yeast and sugar in a large bowl and let stand until foamy - about 10 minutes.
Add the remaining water, 5 cups of flour and the salt to the yeast mixture. Mix with a wooden spoon (or in a mixer), adding the remaining flour a few tablespoons at a time, until dough pulls cleanly away from the sides of the bowl. Knead in butter until dough is smooth and not sticky.
Turn dough out onto a lightly floured surface and continue kneading for an additional minute or two, until it is smooth and elastic. Shape dough into a ball and place in a large, lightly oiled bowl to rise until doubled, about 1- 1 1/2 hours.
Butter two 8×4 inch loaf pans and set aside. Place dough on a lightly floured surface and divide in two equal portions. Working with one piece at a time, roll the dough out into a 9 inch wide x 12 inch tall rectangle, with the short side towards you. Fold one third of the dough down, then fold it down again. Pinch the bottom seam to seal. Your rectangle should be approximately 9×4 now. Turn the seam side up. Fold each end over about 1/2 inch, tuck in any loose ends and pinch to seal. Place the loaf seam side down into a greased 8×4 inch loaf pan.
Cover loaf pans lightly with oiled plastic wrap and allow to rise until doubled in size, about 45-60 minutes. Dough will rise above the top of the pan.
Meanwhile, preheat oven to 375F.
Place loaves in oven and bake for 36-40 minutes. The loaves will be golden and will sound hollow when tapped on the bottom when they are done (you’ll have to turn the loaf out of the pan to check, and you can also insert an instant-read thermometer into the bottom of the loaf. It will read 200F when the loaves are done.)
Remove loaves from pans immediately and let cool completely on a wire rack(2-3 hours) before slicing.
Makes 2 loaves
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The finished bread
“Have you thrown them away yet?” Gavin sauntered into the kitchen in his bathrobe.
“No.”
“Oh, there they are, they’re only small bricks.”
“I’m going to try them in the morning.”
“I’m not that brave, I’ll try them after you do!”
“Thanks.”
“Oh you turned the oven off, that’s progress.” And Gavin went back to WoW.
