Avid Inkling

There is something increasingly less magical about travel. I’m not quite sure exactly what, but I have some ideas:

- Taking off your shoes to go through airport security. In December, in Boston, the airport is not the warmest place, walking through the metal detector in just socks is an unpleasant experience.

- 3oz. toiletries in 1 quart zip-loc baggies. The little toiletries that looked so cute and fit so perfectly in their little carrier loose their allure when jammed into a TSA approved 1-quart zip-loc baggie.

- The CNN TVs. Everywhere CNN News drones in the background. Never mind several of the segments were recorded three weeks ago, or that no one considers the Rosie O’Donnel/Donald Trump feud over Miss USA to really be newsworthy, or the “Snowman Hate-crimes” (a story about vandalism) and the “Kidnapped Baby Jesus” (who went on a road trip)… how are these things news?

- The constant security updates over the loud speakers. We know if we see unattended baggage or suspicious behavior we should report it, we are also well aware that you need to put your toiletries in zip-loc baggies, and that we need to show a valid I.D. at nearly every turn.

- Getting to the airport early because you anticipated worse traffic/a larger crowd then having everything run fairly smoothly leaving you with a 1.5 hour wait for the flight. While this is not necessarily a bad thing, when Boston Logan wants to charge $8 for a day of their “state of the art” wireless internet it really isn’t worth paying that for 1.5 hours of use.

And those are just the joys of the airport, once you’re on the airplane the fun continues.

- Paying for food (on the airplane). Airplane food used to be free, admittedly it was bad, but at least it was free. Today on American Airlines, you can buy a “sandwich” $5 or a “snack box” $4. I didn’t feel like paying for either, so I ate my snickers bar. At least the drinks are still free. Southwest needs to fly in and out of Boston, I like complimentary peanuts.

- Paying for headphones. Like food, headphones used to be free, on some international flights they still are, but on most domestic flights they’re about $2. You could use your own headphones, but they don’t work quite as well with the system (at least not the movie channels and you have to wiggle them oddly to get stereo to work).

- Obscure movies. Although some flights have blockbuster hits (one flight I was on had TITANIC), most flights continue to have movies most people have never ever ever heard of. Although I just saw the preview of tonight’s movie, I have already forgotten the title, but I do know it stars Ian McKlellan, that guy from “Thank you for Smoking” (at least I think it was him), and Brittany Murphy.

- Middle seats. I hate middle seats, I prefer the aisle or the window, but the middle is awkward. There is no legroom, there is no easy escape to the bathroom, there is no window to look out of, there is no much redeeming about the middle seat.

- Turbulence. While not always an issue on all flights, turbulence (or the lack there of) can really make a flight experience. An unexpected bump at the wrong time can send your drink (or the dregs of it) into your lap.

- People who read over your shoulder while you’re typing. Like the woman sitting on my left. It is really obnoxious, glancing over is one thing, blatantly reading is another. That also goes for the guy behind me next to the window (Gavin, I know you’re peeking at what I’m typing)!

On the bright side, flying is still cheaper, faster and more efficient than taking the train. We actually looked into taking Amtrac from Boston to Palo Alto, it would’ve cost over three times as much as flying and taken about a week to do.

So, here I sit, under the (still complimentary) fleece blanket, curled in my sweater, warming my hands on my laptop. Thank god for OS 9 classic and the original Oregon Trail.